


A Very Pirate Story

by Sulwen



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Glam Rock RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-22
Updated: 2010-11-22
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sulwen/pseuds/Sulwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Utter crack.  What REALLY happened when Adam was on that pirate ship in Bali.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Very Pirate Story

Adam's maybe a little too into the pirate thing.

Neil fidgets with his hat and glares at his brother. Damn Adam and his ability to talk people into anything. But hey, fuck it. It's vacation, and there are no pictures. Better fucking not be any pictures.

He makes his way to the front of the ship, where Adam is standing in full pirate regalia, looking out over the ocean through a long gold telescope.

“Looking for anything specific?” Neil asks.

Adam closes the telescope with a snap and grins at Neil, a little tipsy and a _lot_ excited. “Aye, matey! We be settin' sail for the far port of Los Angeles, to rescue my beautiful cabin boy, stolen away these last three days by no-good customs agents!”

Neil doesn't think he's ever rolled his eyes so hard. “You make me ashamed to _live,”_ he says, but he can't quite keep the affection out of his voice. Yeah, Adam's crazy, but he's fun crazy, and he's really good at paying for luxurious Bali vacations.

Adam ignores him and tilts his hat to an even jauntier angle, striding down the length of the ship like he owns the fucking thing. “All hands on deck!” he cries, and feet scramble over rough wood to answer his command. Neil watches them line up, and he has to admit that they look pretty awesome. Apparently dressing up and pretending to be a pirate is a pretty popular activity for vacationing celebrities. Who knew?

“First Mate Lambert! Are you or are you not part of this crew?” Adam calls, throwing a haughty stare in Neil's direction.

Neil sighs and dies a little inside. “Yeah, I am.”

“Come on then!”

Neil groans and goes to join the lineup, standing next to Terrance, who is shirtless and oiled and somehow has acquired what looks like an actual _scimitar._

“Now then!” Adam says. “I know ye all to be brave and true, and loyal as any crew a man could wish for! The journey will be long and perilous, but the prize awaiting at the end is richer than any treasure and more beautiful than the shine of gold. Give me your allegiance, and we shall have our beloved Tommy back before the week is out!”

The others all let out an enthusiastic cheer, and Neil stares at them disbelievingly. He waits until the noise fades, and then clears his throat loudly.

“First Mate Lambert! You have something to say?”

“You know we're not actually going to LA, right?”

“Right what?”

Neil sighs. “Right, _captain?”_

“Ah, but you're wrong, my dear brother! Never underestimate the power of glitter!”

And Neil just stares in disbelief as Adam pulls out a bag of glitter and starts throwing it all over the ship in handfuls. The rest of the group joins him, shining flecks of gold and silver and blue and green and red and every color imaginable coating every surface. And then the glitter starts to _glow,_ and the ship is starting to lift out of the water into the air, and suddenly Neil is having flashbacks to being kids and watching a certain Disney movie with his older brother over and over again.

Adam comes up to him and grins, thrilled as always at Neil's shock. “Pixies aren't the only fairies with powers, you know.”

And Neil goes to the side and stares down at the receding ocean and starts reevaluating his ideas about the world.

***

Tommy sits at his upstairs window, looking out plaintively into the night sky. Everything reminds him of Adam – the glittering of the stars, the dyed-deep blackness of the sky, the sparkling pirate ship hovering over the street...

Wait.

What?

The ship comes closer, and Tommy rubs his eyes and looks again. Yep. Still there. He stands and smooth the wrinkles out of his pure white nightgown (he gets cold easy, ok, and it's the warmest thing in the house), hoping it's who he thinks it is...because he's gonna feel really ridiculous otherwise.

The ship comes right up to the window, and Adam comes stepping through, all pirate-y and hot and awesome, and Tommy grins like an idiot and runs into his arms.

He speaks into Adam's shoulder, and his cheeks hurt he's smiling so hard. “Come to teach me to fly?”

Adam laughs, and Tommy can feel the vibrations all the way through his body. “Baby, you know I can't fly...but I bet I could make you see stars.”

Tommy has a reply to that, he does, but at that moment Neil's voice comes floating in through the window. “Hey! Sorry to break up the lovefest, but we can't just stay here! How do you plan on explaining the pap pictures of a flying pirate ship?”

Adam breaks away and turns toward the window. “Don't you have some deck swabbing to do?” he calls.

“I thought Tommy was the cabin boy!” Neil answers, sounding insulted.

“He's busy attending to _my_ needs at the moment,” Adam says, voice dripping with innuendo.

Neil makes a strangled sound, and his footsteps beat a loud retreat. Tommy giggles. “You're bad,” he says to Adam.

Adam grins. “I'm a pirate, I'm supposed to be bad!”

Tommy's eyes rake over Adam's body, taking in the shiny black boots, the ornate red and black coat, the extravagantly feathered hat. Adam looks amazing in the part, smirk on his lips, sun and wind giving a touch of ruggedness to his face, mischief in his eyes.

“You like?”

Tommy nods. “Oh yeah. I like.”

Adam doesn't waste another second. “Right then!” he says, and picks Tommy up and throws him bodily over one shoulder, holding him there with a possessive hand on his ass.

Tommy squeals. “Adam, what are you doing?”

“Absconding with you, my love! Saving you from the smog-choked dregs of this dirty city and taking you into the clear blue of the open ocean! Sailing off with you into the sunset!”

“Ok, ok, I get it!” Tommy replies, laughing so hard he can barely breathe.

Adam carries him through the window and onto the ship, and waits indulgently as he greets the others, a big full-body hug from Terrance and kisses on both cheeks from Sasha while Isaac clings to him like he never wants to let go. Finally, Adam shoos the rest away and pulls Tommy into his cabin, shutting the door and leaving them in quiet dimness.

“Is this the part where you have your wicked way with me?” Tommy asks.

“Is that what you want, baby?”

“Oh please god yes,” he moans, and Adam is on him almost before he's finished speaking, slamming him back into the door, claiming his lips in a possessive kiss, and Tommy pulls the hat off Adam's head and throws it into a corner, and Adam wrenches the nightgown up and off, leaving Tommy naked and trembling in his arms, and oh, isn't this just about the hottest craziest most amazing thing he's ever done?

“You think I'm crazy?” Adam asks, sucking deep kisses down the side of his neck, and Tommy realizes he must have said that last part out loud.

Tommy laughs. “You don't think any part of this is just a little bit insane?”

“Not really. Do you?”

“Adam, you're fucking _off the map.”_

“Is that bad?”

Adam bites into the exposed white flesh of Tommy's shoulder, and Tommy presses up against him and whimpers, drunk on pleasure and madness and Adam's own special brand of magic.

“No, baby, not at all...not as long as you take me with you.”


End file.
